I gave the Phillips kids a lift home but it was not so simple - it was rather a mess up. "You do live here, don't you?" I asked. "No" they said flatly. "Ye gods," (I thought) "they must be the Phillipses - I thought they were the Joneses."

The two mites were outside the local store with a basket of groceries nearly as big as themselves, just about to set off for home. "Like a lift?" I said, but as they were too meek to even say "Yes please." I bundled them into the back of the car and whizzed off. We came to the corner where I turn off (and the Jones go on), I slowed down, then feeling expansive accelerated again and went on the extra half mile to their gate. I pulled up, opened the door and they got out - rather reluctantly I thought - I turned the car and looked back to wave goodbye and saw two dazed little scraps of humanity, not wending their way up the driveway, but looking forlornly back along the road. It was most puzzling, I backed a bit, "You do live here, don't you?" I asked. The Phillipses live about half a mile from the store, but I've never been able to distinguish between the Phillipses and the Joneses - both have thirteen children and all of an age - the Phillipses have one two, four, six and so on and the Joneses have one two, four, six and so on, and there really wasn't much difference when it came to appearances. "Ah well, I'll know them next time", I said to myself bundling them in again.